Jason (frozenphoenix) wrote,

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Great personal madness in the southeastern united states

I'm going to the roost on wednesday; the roost being my mother's house. Foremost, I'm going to retrieve my automobile. This relieing on others for gathering the basic nutritional necessities of exsistance has gotten a little tired. I knew for sure that I wasn't living the rich American lifestyle that I was promised when dinner consited of shells and cheese with spam cut into it, and my evening relaxation beverage is made of sprite and gin that I found when I moved in. I'm not sure how wise it is to be drinking that, but it hasn't killed me yet. At any rate, since I'll be getting back on my own power, my return date is a little blurry. I hope to come up to Hixson at some point and see people. If your there and you want to be seen, you should make yourself known.

In other news, I'm apparently entering another one of those lonely/desperate times in my life. This actually fills me with terror because the last time I was getting like this was the whole Kim scenario. For those of you that haven't heard the story, just imagine the most contrived instance of self-abating adulation. The scars on my soul have quit hurting, but I'm still filled with shame when I think of how I was because of that person. And, no, I never got to fuck her, which could be the silver lining of the story; I would probably feel like less of a human being now if all my personal anguish had turned up some reward. It would give me the idea that if you suffer for something, you'll get it eventually wheras you can suffer for something and still never have it. Nevertheles, I don't intend to make the same mistake twice. With this new person I plan to tred much more carefully, if I tread at all. Nothing will come of it whatsoever, I already know that, but everyone needs a dream. There is also someone who may serve as a fall back if all else fails, though I'd probably drink myself into an amnesiatic stupor before I'd get entangled in that. Being vague makes you cool.
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